< The Tour Guide  

• Frankie [3]
• Paige [2] as Page on screen
• Tati

Running time: 95 mins.

The title of Film Erotica's latest film has nothing to do with the contents. OK there are a few stock shots of London landmarks and a view of Frankie handing out leaflets beside a bus stop, but director Neville appears to have lost the plot, if there ever was one.

In a strange start we see an army band marching along the Mall to change the guard, then a view of a double-decker bus. With no explanation, we cut to Natalie North and Tati naked on a bed. The girls kiss. Natalie delves between Tati's legs, they twist to 69, tongues and fingers fly. Tati is pushed up onto her shoulders and finger fucked hard. The two rub at each other till they orgasm.

Tower Bridge, Big Ben, then Natalie being thrown onto the bed in a luxury apartment by Dougie!!! Pulling off her black jumper and leopard print bra, she lies on her back, knickers pulled to one side. Dougie's tongue darts over her bum and probes her pussy. Natalie turns to take his dick in her mouth. Holding his shaft tight, she runs the tip around her lips. She wants it inside her. The couple start cowgirl, Natalie fingering her arse as she is fucked. On all fours, she pulls at her cheeks. Dougie eases his cock into her backside and hammers away. Pulling out he empties his balls over Natalie's gaping hole.

Paige is lost in London. Steve Hooper offers to show her the way. Luckily he lives right next to where she wants to go. At his flat he suggests that Paige poses for some photos. She doesn't take much persuading to strip out of her turquoise bra as Steve snaps away. Fluffing his lines, Steve looks for something else to do. Stripping and licking Paige's body seems a good thing. A shout from off screen and the couple kiss, another call gets the pair to turn ... for a spontaneous sex scene the director is giving a lot of input. Paige explores the bulge in Steve's pants. She takes his knob between her lips and sucks. Steve tastes Paige's pussy then places her on her side to shag her spoons. As she manoeuvres onto all fours, the camera picks up a crew member standing arms folded in the background. Riding reverse and missionary follow, then Paige mounts Steve's shaft cowgirl and he cums in her cunt. It drips onto his stomach.

Frankie and Natalie stand riving at each other's clothes. Frankie cries stop - she only does men. Natalie disappears into the bathroom to give a faceless dick a blow job. He quickly creams in her mouth.

Standing in Piccadilly Circus, Frankie hands Dougie and Lee a leaflet. It must have offered something good as the scene cuts to the three sitting on a plush red sofa, Frankie sandwiched between the boys. Removing her black suit, she unbuckles the boys' belts. A cock in each hand, Frankie wanks. A shadow passes over the three as Dougie drops to lap at her pussy. She takes Lee's dick deep in her mouth making her cheeks suck in. Mounting Lee's manhood, Frankie slowly slips up and down. Dougie bites at her erect nipples. She pops his cock in her mouth and her head goes back as it passes her tonsils. Frankie next tries Dougie for size. Slamming down on his balls she rides him cowgirl. On hands and knees, Frankie is spit roasted. The boys swap ends half way through. Crouching, she takes their jizz in her mouth and lets it dribble over her chin.

30 seconds of Natalie having a piss in the bath! Why?

Final shots of London and Natalie and Tati are taking Lee and Dougie's cocks in their mouths. Tati strips to 69, Natalie is content to be groped through her clothing. Finally naked the girls go riding. Tati falls forward to be taken doggy by Dougie, Natalie sticks Lee's dick in her arse. The group fall to the floor and the girls kiss as their pussies are stuffed. After tasting each other's juices, Natalie gets both boys inside her for a quickie DP. Lee fires his load up Natalie's bum and it plops out onto the floor. Tati lets Dougie spunk over her pussy and she smears it over her body.

It's hard to tell what this film is about. The scenes just don't hang together - and why the two extremely short ones with Natalie? Questions also have to be asked of the direction and post production work. Surely the director's comments and shots of crew could have been cut out. Is there anything good about The Tour Guide? Well yes - the plain white cover with bold artwork make this DVD really stand out on the shelf. A pity the content didn't match. Great girls in a poor film.

Review by Dawn "Hot Totty" Birtle

Bayleaf's view (November 2006):

Review copy courtesy of Film Erotica

One day Neville Keighley will win awards for his work, but not before he gets some serious help with his productions. Tour Guide, his latest release, opens strongly with a march past of bands at Buckingham Palace, setting us firmly on the London Tourist circuit ready for Neville to tell his story. Then, without explanation, we cut to Norwgian sex bomb Natalie North's bedroom where she is writhing naked with Tati.

After 10 minutes of very pleasant girl on girl action from two very sexy girls we get a flash of the London Eye then Natalie, fully clothed, is falling back onto a different bed with Dougie Loads on top of her. The couple undress in frenzied bursts with Dougie taking time, after pulling Natalie's jeans and knickers over her bum, to lick between her legs and force two fingers firmly up her arse, much to Natalie's delight. Natalie brings Dougie to full wood with her mouth then mounts him cowgirl followed by full length anal in doggy. The dialogue throughout is stock porno - "I want you to stick it up my arse" says Natalie - so after 30 minutes we still have no clue what's going on. Although we have been treated to some very nice fucking.

More London landmarks: Paige, in a very pretty pale blue jacket and miniskirt, walks down the steps of the Natural History museum and out of Sloane Square tube. She's looking for Battersea Park, a fair walk from where she is but hey, helpful Steve Hooper is passing and whadayaknow he lives there. Steve shows Paige the park, then his flat, then his camera kit, and before too long the demure Paige is stark naked, legs akimbo and ready to receive Steve's cock. Steve ditches the camera and fucks Paige in spoons on the couch followed by doggy, reverse cowgirl, missionary and cowgirl. Suddenly, in this last position, Steve stops and shudders then withdraws to allow his spunk to trickle from Paige's gaping pussy.

Still no sign of a plot after 59 minutes but, as we get a view of London buses and the Eye again, a pattern is starting to emerge.

Now Natalie is getting steamed up snogging Frankie, who unfortunately admits she only likes men. But it's Natlie that rushes to to the bathroom to give Lee Henshaw a blowjob. We don't see Lee's face so perhaps he's meant to be someone different from the Lee Henshaw in the next scene, found with Dougie picking up Frankie in Piccadilly. Frankie's handing out leaflets and she gives the boys, who have just arrived in town, some suggestions of sights to see. But they've already decided what they want to see so its back to their hotel for sex with Frankie. The boys get her undressed and nicely warmed up before Frankie sits on Lee's cock and takes Dougie. The hot action continues with a cock at both ends for Frankie as they do more cowgirl and doggy before she takes two decent facials, letting the guys' spunk flood from her mouth as she stares at the camera.

There's just time for 60 seconds of Natalie pissing in the bath by herself before we're back on the streets where Dougie and Lee pick up Natalie and Tati who are handing out leaflets and therefore must be the tour guides. In, literally, no time at all, the foursome are undressing on a sofa, cocks are hard and pussies moist at the start of a fine four-way scene. The guys fuck both girls and by the time they reach side by side reverse cowgirl, a magnificent sight, Lee's cock is already embedded in Natalie's arse. Side by side doggy then Natalie takes both cocks together briefly before getting deeply fucked up the arse in missionary where Lee releases his seed, which Natalie ejects all over the floor. Meanwhile Tati gets Dougie's load over her belly, which is where the film abruptly ends.

As five individual scenes this film is not at all bad with top guys fucking some very sexy girls. But it's Neville's apparent ambition to link them together with some sort of theme or plot that fails, with scenes apparently having no relevance or else assembled in the wrong order (what was Dougie doing with Natalie early on when they don't actually meet until the final scene?).

Even the most avant garde director writes a plot outline before shooting starts. Here it seems the editor has done the best with the limited footage available.

Lighting is not always clear and the director has cured the problem of being heard giving instructions by apparently not speaking, which may not be the best plan. On the other hand all the girls are uniformly gorgeous, largely tattoo free, and Natlie North is sex mad. And all the guys are well endowed which can't be a bad thing. Anyone buying this movie with limited expectations will not be disappointed, unlike me.