< Secret Delights of Baroness Kinky 

• Angie George
• Nadia [3]

As a director, making porn for Private gives you two things, a plot and a budget. Unfortunately veteran Brit director Frank Thring squanders both in a film that promises much but is ultimately very unsatisfactory. It is a deeply fetishistic film from the opening scene where Frank Gun, in stockings and gas mask, fucks two nearly identical Euroblondes on a grand staircase. After plundering both their bums a third girl appears with a meat cleaver prompting Frank to jolt from his dream.

Alongside him is wife Angie George, who reminds him they are flying to Scotchland with their friend Kate. Later, on a remote Scottish Road, the hire car breaks down and they head for the castle where the door is opened by the Baroness's faithful old retainer, Frank Thring himself.

Offered beds, Frank (Gun) and Angie retire to theirs while Kate (another Euroblonde I did not recognise) appears in a basque and stockings for a lesbian scene with Baroness Kinky (Zora Banx). Meanwhile, in bed, Frank rips Angie's tights and fucks her doggy and anal in reverse cowgirl ending with a fine facial.

Next morning Frank Gun and Angie are in the woods where they find the Baroness spanking the old retainer on his naked bum beneath his kilt (nice part Frank!).

Back at the castle Angie, in pvc bra, g-string and boots, finds a guy dressed as a baby with a bottle of milk. He immediately latches on to her titties while Angie pulls down his trainer-pants and sucks his cock. Angie gets fucked doggy, lubricated with milk from the bottle, then takes it up the bum in spoons and reverse cowgirl. Facial.

The visiting trio are offered dinner while the Baroness continues to abuse her servant and one of the blondes from the first scene. Frank Thring then gets his cock sucked and the Baroness drags in Frank Gun to fuck the girl. Double facial.

Angie wants to leave, but is persuaded to stay with a glass of malt and, as all three guests get drunk, she and Frank find themselves with Nadia (in pvc minidress) and another guy in the drawing room. After some initial foreplay the action makes an ugly jump to a DP for Nadia followed by a double facial.

But it's all been a dream as Frank awakes to be told by Angie that they're flying to Scotland today ...

This film comes with all the Private production values - sets, locations, music and beautiful women. It's got a reasonable, if hackneyed, storyline, but it's only 76 minutes long and it looks like those minutes were hacked out of the last scene. Indeed, I checked the run time on the Private website to see if I'd been sold a dud!

Recommended only for those with money to burn or diehard Angie fans like me.

Review by Bayleaf