< Rub My Muff 9 

• Holly Wellin
• Roxy Jezel

Running time: 80 mins.

They say that thirteen is an unlucky number. With thirteen girls in thirteen scenes, crammed into 80 minutes, Rub My Muff 9 is not unlucky, just poor. There is a constant stream of solo girl scenes shot on sets which at best could be described as stylistically challenged. Mixed into this montage of monotony are the Brits Holly Wellin and Roxy Jezel.

Appearing 6th (or could be 7th, I lost count) is Holly, her blonde hair in plaits. Slipping off her bra she squeezes and toys with her tits. Pink knickers off, her fingers wander round and enter her pussy. After five minutes, and for no apparent reason, the scene stops.

Roxy follows immediately after in a slightly longer scene. Stripped out of her silky blue top she bashes at her boobs. Dropping her short blue skirt she pops a glass dildo into her pussy and waggles it back and forth. Pulling the dildo out, Roxy sticks it into her mouth ... six minutes and it's over!!!

The style of the film is extremely odd. The camera remains almost static throughout each scene but is jerkily zoomed in and out, almost as if the operator has just discovered the zoom control. There are also acres of silence, with hardly a sound uttered. As for the performances, most of the girls looked bored giving the impression you've paid for five minutes and that's all you'll get. Dull, lifeless and very repetitive. Leave Rub My Muff 9 alone.

Review by Dawn "Hot Totty" Birtle