< Porno Dan's British Invasion 

• Angel Long
• Goldie McHawn as Goldie McHole
• Isabel Ice as Isabella
• Kinky Kerry

Running time: 109 mins.

Bleached blonde Dan, together with American star Angelica Sin, fucked their way around Europe during 2003/4. The film shows what they got up to in Britain. The scenes are interspersed with clips of Angelica and Goldie flashing round London in telephone boxes, on the tube and in a taxi etc.

From the start the camera work and sound are shaky and it gets worse as the film progresses.

Angelica and Goldie are playing with each other in a hotel room as traffic rumbles by outside. After getting each other's nipples hard, they insert fingers into pussies then start to lick and lap at moist lips. Goldie gets a glass dildo worked into her love box which makes her wriggle and pant. A slightly larger bulbous toy is pushed in and Goldie rolls her hips as she rubs hard on her clit till she climaxes. Angelica bends over with her bum high so Goldie can take her with vibrator. Goldie then takes an inflatable toy, blowing it up inside her pussy till it's stretched. A vibrating bead is held against her clit till she cums again.

The girls reappear in a second hotel room (still as noisy) with a couple of Beef-eater models which they decide would look well in their cunts. Dan joins in, filling Goldie's fanny with four fingers as he licks on her clit. Goldie moves to sit on his face, dropping forward to deep throat Dan's dick. Turning, she wants to be taken doggy style, but after a few thrusts Dan pops his load, covering Goldie's tits in cum.

Goldie is in the same bedroom, this time with a guy who is having problems getting wood. She licks and sucks on his cock, eventually getting it ready for action. Goldie bends over to be taken from behind and as the guy slips in his cock the scene restarts, repeating the previous 9 minutes!!! This time the action progresses, though not for long. Goldie starts to ride him reverse cowgirl when he covers her pussy and goes limp.

Dan is next with Angel-Long, who is dressed in a red T-shirt and red PVC trousers. Not a word of his brief interview can be heard as a police siren is going off outside the window. Pulling down Angel's pants, Dan sets to work fingering and licking her bum and pussy. Unfortunately all you get to see is the back of his head. Angel grabs Dan's cock, wanking it into her mouth as her tongue runs round the head and down the shaft. Getting Dan to lie down, she mounts him reverse cowgirl. At this point the camera wanders off and you get very nice shots of the wall and floor. When the camera moves back Angel is being filled missionary with great shots of her red high heels flying back and forward in front of the camera. The pop shot is missed completely, but we do get to see Angel's spunk covered tits.

The last two scenes are very short at only 5 or 6 minutes each. In one Dan appears with a plump, unnamed blonde and Isabel Ice on a blue sofa. After fingering the girls they suck on his dick. He then takes each in the missionary position, but arms, legs and another cameraman obscure the action. With a number of camera flashes going off the blonde girl rides Dan, he pulls out to fill her mouth.

Kinky Kerry appears in the next section in red PVC top and black pants. Stripped, she is soon astride Dan's dick, bouncing up and down. The pair roll over, but she complains he is not fucking her hard enough. Kerry bends over to be taken doggy, but the shot goes out of focus. By the time the camera man realises this, the action is almost over. Kerry ends by giving a blow job and getting her tongue covered in jizz.

The final 60 seconds has Angel using a dildo attached to a power drill. The film then just stops.

The camerawork, sound and editing in Porno Dan's British Invasion is deplorable, perhaps the worst I have seen. Angel, Isabel and Kerry are limited to a few minutes each at the end of the film and even they are made to look poor!! AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE.

Review by Dawn "Hot Totty" Birtle