< Filthy British First Timers 1  

• Kerry [6]
• Mandy [6]

The BBFC team return with five more women claiming their first time on video, although for at least a couple there are other scenes already in the public domain. All scenes are shot in a rather down-at-heel attic bedroom in a house on a busy high street where trucks and buses thunder by throughout the film.

First of the first timers is Charley, a buxom brunette wench in black camisole and hold-up stockings. She starts by pushing a large naturalistic dildo in her pussy for a lengthy solo session lying on the bed. She's joined by house-stud Pete who's cock she sucks as he stands alongside the bed, then there's brief but noisy sex (with condom) in missionary. Ends with cumshot over her tits. Straight afterwards Charley admits to a love of swallowing cum, but demurred because she was fucking someone she doesn't know: Doh!

I don't know any Eastern European languages so I couldn't translate the three words young Christina has printed on her red thong. However it doesn't stay on long as it is replaced with a silver vibrator that Christina uses while squeezing her braless tits through her t-shirt. Soon she's joined on the grey armchair by presumed boyfriend Stephan, a callow youth who looks about seventeen. There's no talk but the fucking is pretty good in cowgirl, missionary and doggie, with a few strokes up the bum in doggie to finish. The reverse cowgirl is particularly fine, showing off Christina's tight teenage body and truly fantastic firm tits, which she reveals from time to time from beneath her t-shirt. Modest facial to finish.

On the bed bespectacled Mandie strips to her underwear and then to nude for the camera. She's joined by dear old Pete but, despite some prolonged cock-sucking, he never gets really hard and Mandie struggles to get him inside her pussy as she straddles him. Things are a little better in missionary and spoons and the reverse cowgirl is a modest success, especially for those of us who find Mandie's pneumatic figure and little titties a real turn-on. At the end Pete delivers a small facial.

Eastern Eurpean émigrés, thirtysomething couple Eva and Daniel are keen to make their own porn film. Brunette Eva has a nice tight body with little tits, hard nipples and an unshaven pussy. Daniel has a ponytail. Perfectionists may object to Eva's spotty bum, but they can't quibble with her enthusiasm in a display of horny, hard and natural sex that is the best in the show. All positions, with some full-length anal in doggy and spoons. Scene finishes, as does Daniel, with a good facial.

Kerry and John Mason are naked on the bed and move straight into action the JM way: oral, 69, reverse cowgirl, etc., ending with a wank for John. In a wild variation John fucks Kerry doggy and missionary standing off the bed. Kerry is a pretty girl with a nice body who we should see more of. (In fact I'm sure I have but can't place her).

Finally blonde Lucy admits to having two kids, and it shows. She's naked underneath her fur coat, but Venus she aint with a flabby tummy, sagging tits and pale blemished flesh. After some solo dildo work she's joined by Pete who's certainly firm enough this time for some decent cowgirl and sex in other positions. Lucy's ordinary looks could have been transformed by some animal action, but she still behaves like someone's mum up to and including Pete's microscopic cum over her bum.

Five scenes that deserve only a small part in a big Your Choice compilation, but will no doubt succeed due to the legion of amateur-loving fans. Rude Britannia themselves add to the slap dash nature of the production by printing on the DVD itself and onscreen menu pictures of two eastern European girls, Mika and Karina, who aren't in the film (although I will be looking out for them when they do). A close look at the cover has thumbnails of a rather nice blonde no-show too. Poor, poor and poor.

Review by Bayleaf
November 2005