< The Brits Are Cumming 5 

• Ashley [6]
• Chloe [11]
• Faye Rampton
• Jamie Woods
• Sandie Caine
• Teoni

At best gonzo videos are a lot of fun. Anticipation is built up through a (normally) contrived meeting, an interview or banter between director/cameraman which leads to genuinely arousing sex. To work there has to be some empathy between the director and the participants, whether or not he actually engages in sex. Harry S Morgan and Ben Dover don't (apart from the fact that Ben gets blown and generally films naked), Terry Stephens does, but all of them have an enthusiasm for the job in hand that transmits to the performers and audience.

In this series Dick Nasty is credited as Director, although there is no discernible directorial input anywhere in the video which, I assume, allowed him time to perform in a few scenes. As usual with Dick and Guy da Silva, they are in London auditioning for a film. Now these guys have auditioned most Britporn models over the past ten years so you can expect the final film to be a real blockbuster.

The first scene starts well. Chloe is so keen to get a part that she accosts Dick in his office. Dick explains that the auditions are being held upstairs, but perhaps she could show him her talents. Chloe unzips Dick's dick and after a bit of sucking, slips off her pants and sits astride him. After a couple of minutes she hops off, replaces her pants and goes upstairs. Here endeth any originality, variation or eroticism.

Upstairs Mark is waiting on a divan bed. "Shouldn't we wait for the cameras?" asks Chloe. "Nah" replies Mark "Lets get on with it" and they do. He soon has Chloe's pants and dress off and fucks her still in her stockings. Sex includes anal and a facial.

Melissa Walker and Alicia Rhodes are sitting in Jubilee Gardens by the London Eye when they spot Guy da Silva. Alicia wanders off in the direction of The Brits are Cumming 6 while Melissa and Guy go to a small room with pink woodchip which provides the location for the rest of the scenes. Here it has a bed, so it's a bedroom, and Guy soon has himself and Melissa undressed and they're at it. Scene ends with anal and Guy cumming over Melissa's bum.

Now the room has armchairs and Dick starts to get Teona out of her clothes immediately. Another perfunctory fuck includes anal and ends with a facial.

Sandie Caine, all smiles, is picked up on the street and returns for a session on the couch with Mark. Anal and facial.

"Ere, you're Dick Nasty" says Faye Rampton as she marches up to Dick as he's aimlessly filming flags in The Mall. And she continues "I fancy some no-strings-attached sex, can you help me out?" Of course he can and it's straight back to the sofa where a young black guy billed as Brett Tracey is available to give Faye some of what she's after. Scene includes anal and facial.

Finally, Dick must be getting very bored when Jamie Woods arrives in Dick's new office (sofas out, desk and chair in). Dick and Jamie (who is a couple of inches taller than Dick) undress separately then Jamie fucks Dick with all the finesse of a hooker getting rid of the last client of the day. Anal and facial.

Dick Nasty has very little talent for this sort of thing and should, in my opinion, stick to screwing American grannies.

Review by Bayleaf