Running time: 97 mins.
There was a time when Rude Britannia was a byword for quality. In recent times their values have slipped and the productions have been a hit and miss affair. Following Relish's successful and wittily titled Cockwell Inn, director Willy White gives us his take on life at the local in the unimaginatively named Three Cocks Inn. A film which is short of the mark.
In her short pink dress, barmaid Jessica pulls a pint for regular Tom. It's his birthday and she has a surprise for him. Slipping round the counter, she eases his cock out and starts to suck. The camera wobbles and bobbles as she lifts out her boobs. Sitting between the pumps, Jessica pulls her panties to one side. Tom moves in to lick and finger fuck. Jessica slips off the bar and turns to be taken from behind. The two sink on to a dirty looking strip of carpet and continue. With the picture going in and out of focus, there are some badly framed shots of the two shagging cowgirl, then doggy. She bites at his balls as he wanks. Tom cums over Jessica's tits.
It's difficult to say if the bleached greenish tinge at the start of scene two is a special effect, or just the camera packing in. Whatever, it gives Agnis and Denise a slightly bilious look as they enter the pub. With the colour coming and going, the girls kiss and strip for the locals. Denise moves away as Agnis sits on Tony James's knee to finger herself. Tony starts to nibble at her nipples. Tom joins in. With their pants down, Agnis places the guys' pricks between her lips. Tony slaps his cock in Agnis's pussy as she tries to breathe life back into Tom's dick. Lying back on the bench seat, Agnis takes both boys missionary before riding Tony. Tom's shaft still isn't stiff despite Agnis's best efforts, which gives Tony the chance to fuck her doggy. With the boys ready to cum, Agnis gets her face coated in cream.
A clothed Denise has pinned Steve against the pool table with his cock in her mouth. Fresh from giving Agnis a seeing to, Tony joins them. Almost in silence, Denise drops her denim skirt and knickers, then spreads out on the pool table to have her shaven snatch sucked. A cock in each hand, she jerks at the boys as she leads them to the bar. Tony puts Denise on all fours and fucks her from behind. The camera zooms in and out rapidly as she laps at Steve's cock. A group of locals sit supping their pints while the boys bash Denise missionary. Laid out across a bar stool, Denise pulls at her tits with Tony yanking away above her. Having just cum over Agnis, he has great difficulty in producing a few drops for Denise.
Tom returns to the pub the next day to retrieve his mobile and finds Poppy cleaning. She disappears to do the bedrooms and Tom follows. Kneeling on the bed in her white top, black skirt and stockings, Poppy fingers and slaps her pussy. Tom takes out his tadger as he watches. In a one position scene, Poppy is then shagged doggy. Failing to satisfy her, Poppy sticks her bum high in the air and fingers herself to climax as Tom cums over his fingers.
Shot in a tatty looking pub, this is a poor film. The camera work is shoddy, the editing is dire and half the guys don't come up to scratch. It even manages to make the great Poppy Morgan look no more than average!!! But at least Poppy had the sense to do her scene in a 'clean' hotel bedroom. Rude Britannia have lost their way with 'Three Cocks Inn' - a production which looks very amateurish. Save your money and give it a miss.
Review by Dawn "Hot Totty" Birtle