Running time: 142 mins.
The musical box theme tune tinkles into life to signify the start of Doll Theatre's latest release. Dressed in her sexy black lingerie the presenter opens the pages of her copy of Tales of the Unexxxpected and starts to recite. Like the rest of his films, Gorgeous Gee has produced a series of good scenarios and scenes and in true Doll Theatre style money has not been wasted in bringing them to life. OK some of the props are a bit ropey, but it adds to the fun and enjoyment of the film.
A Really Close Encounter
Sahara lies restless in bed. Her husband is out for the count and snoring beside her. As she reads a magazine her hand wanders to her knickers and, pulling them to one side, she slips in a finger. Gently she rocks and moans. A flash of light draws her to the window. Sahara stares out but sees nothing. As she moves back to the bed there is a rattle in the wardrobe and two aliens burst out - well Ian Tait and Mark Slone in red wigs and capes. Their cocks are ready to fuck Earth girls. With a twinkle from their antennae Sahara's husband disappears. She grabs hold of the boys' dicks and starts to wank, dribbling on Ian's shaft. Mark moves behind Sahara and starts to shag. The aliens swap places. Sahara lies with her head off the bed to have her throat fucked. Ian goes down to munch at her, then probes his prick in her moist minge. With Ian on his back, Sahara slides his cock up her arse. Mark adds his man meat to her pussy to give an out of this world experience. Sahara sits waiting for the boys' cream and they fire so hard that they hit the bed head.
Angels of Death
Having just married a very rich and very old man, Suzie plans something special for the first night of his honeymoon - a glass of poisoned wine. Now a wealthy widow, she relaxes on the sofa, caressing her body. But her peace is disturbed by the ghost of her husband and his ghoulish friends, the black-basque-and-stocking-clad Angels of Death (Charlie, Taylor and Tequila) set to get their revenge. The girls surround Suzie and the picture flashes to the three in their dildo masks which she sucks. With Taylor and Tequila sucking Suzie's tits, Charlie appears with a black strap-on which is pushed into her mouth. Tequila sprouts a dildo between her tits and Taylor plays with it. The four lie rubbing pussies and swallowing plastic cocks. Her knickers off, Suzie holds her fanny tight to Tequila's face and she tongues it. Taylor lets Charlie lick between her legs. Charlie uses her strap-on on Suzie while the other angels make her deep throat. A bright red toy is pushed into Taylor's arse. Suzie teases her pussy with a black dildo and DP's her. It's now Suzie's turn to have both holes filled. She squeals as the plastic is pushed in. One by one the angels wank and disappear and the voice of her husband tells Suzie not to play with the three for they bring death ... too late.
What Women Really Want
Accountant Ian is pouring over his books not noticing the advances of his scantily-clad sexy secretary Natalie Heck. She hikes up her black lace dress and rubs her tight white knickers against him, but there is no reaction. Elle Brook enters for a glass of water from the dispenser. Noticing Natalie is wearing the same knickers as her, she gives a flash. Natalie wants to see what's underneath them and kneels to finger Elle's fanny. Tits out, the girls kiss and caress. Natalie trickles water over Elle's body, catching the drips as they fall from her pussy. At last Ian notices something is going on and bends the girls over his desk to spank their arses. Telepathy kicks in and he realises the girls are enjoying it. They want him to bury his face between their legs and play with their tits. Lying on top of each other, the girls kiss, their boobs brushing together as Ian licks their arses. Natalie and Ian 69 and Elle assists by swallowing his dick before she mounts his man meat cowgirl. Natalie has a go riding his cock up her arse and Elle fingers her fanny as she bounces. Blonde hair falling forward, both girls lick Ian's prick before it goes back in the bum - Natalie first, then Elle missionary. With pussy juice dribbling, the three twist around on the desk, 69ing and shagging spoons. The girls crouch on the floor, mouths open, to accept Ian's jizz.
The presenter changes to seasonal red to introduce the final scene.
Taylor sits in front of the fire in her red Christmas lingerie, a glass of wine in hand. Boring Gorgeous Gee wants nothing to do with the festivities and heads off to bed leaving Taylor alone. She lifts her boobs out of her red bra and tweaks her nipples. Her hand goes down to her pussy and starts to rub. In a series of jerky edits, Taylor plants a shiny red dildo deep in her pussy and starts to wank. Just as Taylor climaxes, Santa (Pete le Meat) appears. She climbs onto his knees to have her tits sucked. With his cock out of his red pants, Taylor's tongue flicks the end. As Pete strokes her blonde hair his dick slips deep down her throat. The two 69 on the fireside rug. Balanced on her ultra high red platform shoes, Taylor lowers herself onto Pete's prick and starts to grind. He moves his cock from her pussy to her bum. Moving to the sofa the anal action continues, Taylor pulling her knees up to her chest to show her gaping bum. After a little doggy over the arm of the sofa, Taylor turns to take the cream. Santa may only come once a year but Pete manages twice, covering Taylor's tits.
This is the type of film where you get the impression the performers really enjoyed themselves. OK some of the editing may be a bit lumpy and bumpy and the alien costumes, sorry red wigs, are a bit naff; but that's part of the 'fun' element the film gives ... not taking itself too seriously. One final point - the end titles include a number of girls who don't appear in this film but in Tales of the Unexxxpected 2. Great work from all involved.
Review by Dawn "Hot Totty" Birtle