< My Girlfriend's A Vampire 

• Carmel Moore

Running time: 111 mins.

Sometimes directors and producers believe if the title is snappy enough then the film is bound to be good. Adam and Eve's My Girlfriend's a Vampire proves this is not always the case. The plodding plot has witches, wizards, the obligatory dark room filled with candles and of course a vampire, played by Ava Rose.

The film starts with Van Damage throwing Evan Stone out of his apartment, so he can be alone with Carmel Moore. For some strange reason, which is never explained, she likes to be fucked while dressed as Little Red Riding Hood. Settling on the settee beside Van Damage, in her red cape, she spreads her legs so he can lap at her smoothly shaven pussy. Carmel lifts her tits out of her checked bra as her tongue works its way over the tip of Van Damage's cock. Kneeling on the sofa, she is taken from behind. Van Damage holds onto her hips. The pair roll over allowing Carmel to ride him reverse. Standing, her long hair flops over her boobs as she is fucked. Carmel falls back to be finished missionary. Van Damage drops his load in her mouth.

Sitting in a club, Evan is picked up by Ava, but she changes her mind about sex, preferring some girl-on-girl action with Delena Dragen. Witch, Kasey Croft, warns Evan of the danger he's in. She leads him to a sheepskin clad wizard where Bree Olsen joins in for a three-way session. Told he has to kill the vampire, he thrusts his pork stake into Ava's pussy.

Watching the film you get the idea no one was sure if this was meant to be a horror movie or a light hearted romp with fangs. The scary bits aren't and the comedy falls flat. No expense seems to have been made on the film. The set looks like a corrugated iron shed and the special effect amounts to a rubber bat on a piece of string. Bathing the sex scenes in orange light doesn't help either. All it manages to do is make the girls look carrot-coloured.

The overall impression this film gives is a poor one.

Review by Dawn "Hot Totty" Birtle