Freddie has perfected the art of the homemade movie. Despite around twenty productions, this remains as amateurish as usual. Still, why change a winning formula, even down to the bedroom action. Tracy Lain, who appeared in two previous productions, has now taken over as Freddie's cameraman in what now seems to be a family business.
In the first scene, Freddie has been to a medieval banquet and overindulged. He meets waitress Emma Louise still in her banquet costume - busty serving wench she ain't - and takes her home for sex. After a perfunctory feel the action starts doggy style over the bed with Emma still clothed, then quickly moves to anal. The action lurches around in most positions and ends with one of the most ridiculous cod facials I have ever seen with Freddie out of shot squirting syrup into Emma's mouth. Emma gives a hesitant performance and shows little enjoyment of her task.
Tracy and Freddie are on the seafront when they are given a flyer for a massage service. They both agree that this could be the business for them and return home to practice. Freddie soon sports a mighty erection beneath his towel and sex ensues in all positions on the bed, including anal. Tracy is a good enthusiastic performer with a lithe and sexy body which coaxes a genuine, if feeble, cumshot from Freddie which he just about trickles into her mouth.
Freddie and Tracy pick up Irish dancer Donna after her show because she has missed the tour bus home. After (just) a moment's hesitation she's back at Freddie's and out of her red dress. Although Donna's accent is northern her dark hair and pale complexion allow her to pass as Irish. By her face Donna is over 18, but her body and small boobs give her a very young look, which is enhanced because she keeps her white kneesocks and dancing shoes on throughout. The action follows exactly the same pattern as the other scenes including doggy anal. Donna performs well enough.
Freddie calls up a cleaner from the paper who, amazingly, can be round in half an hour and, more amazingly, is happy to be fucked by Freddie. Jodie is a tall blonde girl who starts to clean the kitchen but soon has her top off. For a moment or two I thought Fred may be trying a new set, but no, it's upstairs and onto the ubiquitous floral divan. Action starts, as per usual, with doggy and moves through most other positions including some quite athletic attempts. Jodie looks like, and probably is, an amateur mum who performs reasonably enthusiastically, but has yet to learn that sex for the camera is different from pleasuring her man. The scene ends with a furious wank by Freddie and a miniscule spurt across Jodie's stomach.
The camerawork is adequate with Freddie's other half Tracy in control, but the editing is still crude and the lighting and picture quality poor by today's digital standards. Most of the introductions are scripted and poorly delivered, especially by Freddie who's on-the-job commentary is even worse. Occasionally Tracy says a few spontaneous words from behind the camera, something that could be built on. In fact, Tracy, ditch the old man as a performer, keep the amateur pick-up format and front-up the programmes yourself.
Review by Bayleaf