Running time: 132 mins.
One of the first things you notice about European Bitch Funkers, apart from the fact there are no titles or credits so you don't know who or what you are watching, is the very poor picture quality. Normally these days you would expect crisp clean images, but European Bitch Fuckers gives the appearance of been shot on 'long play' video tape, slightly blurry whenever there is fast movement.
The film starts with Ebony, Kyla and Myra on the DiSanto settee. Dressed in white latex, Ebony has forgotten to take the dog for a walk and Kyla and Myra want to make sure she doesn't forget in the future. Filling Ebony's with lube the girls use a series of toys to punish her pussy, the white goo oozing out as the dildos are rammed deep. Not content with stuffing her pussy, they force lengths of rubber cock down her throat making poor Ebony gag. With chants of 'Who didn't take the dog out' Kyla hammers Ebony's cunt and tonsils with a strap-on.
In a scene which is marred by the harsh camera mounted light, Felicity lies on the bed in a hotel room in her black see-through top and purple fishnets. Ripping the crotch open, she slips a large black dong between her legs and wanks. Turning over, Felicity wants to be stretched and jams a rabbit vibe in her pussy as well.
Moving to the bath room, Felicity is joined by Nancy (Evie), Sydney JJ and a dark haired masked girl. Dumped in the bath the three force Facility's head under water while they rip off her clothing and slap her tits. Covering her in lube, Felicity is 'roughed-up' by the girls pushing their fingers down her throat and pulling her pussy open. Out of the bath, Felicity bends over for a hard spanking which leaves her bum glowing red. Covered in a carton of milk and crisps (!!) she eats at the minges of the other three girls.
In black net tops and fishnet stockings, Chloe B, Sabrina Lavelle and Natalie Heck are dragged into a disused factory by Felicity. Spitting and covered in lube, the girls rive and ravish each other's pussies, stuffing them with toys. Chloe takes a rubber fist between her legs followed by a real one from Natalie. After choking on a dildo Sabrina decides it's time for a piss. DiSanto then discovers he has been filming without lights. The remaining toying is done under the glare of the camera top light.
Curvaceous Mellie, bursting out of a tight black PVC suit, is abused by Felicity, though we only ever see her hands and arms. After stuffing toys and objects into her pussy, Mellie gags on a dildo as Felicity lubes her arse.
Poor Sahara hasn't finished the dishes when marigold-wearing Felicity returns. Ripping down her panties she will have to have her pussy plundered as punishment. Scrubbing her clit with a toothbrush, Sahara is covered in lube, a black toy is then thrust into her cunt. Screaming, the toy is jammed into her mouth as Felicity uses a pipe to pour a bottle of lube into her pussy. Taking a double ended purple toy between her legs the white cream squelches out of her cunt. The scene ends with Sahara gagging on the toy.
Busty blonde Nurse Haley wants her pussy stretched by Cherry. Before she starts Cherry cleans Haley's cunt with an electric toothbrush. A lot of lube and toys are used on Haley including a big rubber fist and a plastic cock that spurts cream. With make-up smeared over her face, Haley swallows and gags on plastic as Cherry hammers her pussy.
Nancy has been caught wearing Felicity's knickers, with the obvious consequences. Pulling at Nancy's lips, Felicity pummels her pussy, lengths of tube being used to fill her full of lube. In her yellow marigold gloves Felicity fingers and pokes Nancy's pussy and arse, then fucks her tonsils with a toy. Turning over, a rabbit is run over her arse and rammed in her pussy. Lying covered in spit and lube, Nancy is left.
This hard hitting lesbian film is very badly shot and lit. I had hoped with the move to the Killergram label the production quality of DiSanto's work would improve, but if anything it's got worse. Leave it on the shelf.
Review by Dawn "Hot Totty" Birtle