Running time: 137 mins.
Chelsea Girl is the story of Aaliyah who arrives in London to start her new job. She stays with her cousin and things get hot and horny ... Thank goodness for the cover notes because from watching the film you'd be hard pressed to work out what it's about. With Lolly Badcock, Elle Brook and rising star Aaliyah supported by Alexis May and Tiffany, Film Erotica should have been on to a sure fire winner. Instead director Neville has produced a bit of a damp squib.
On her first day in her new job Aaliyah is polishing glasses. Dougie her colleague tells her she is doing it wrong - when the boss comes back all hell will break out. Instead of rubbing the glasses, Aaliyah rubs at Dougie's knob. Unzipping his pants, she takes him in her mouth as he removes her jumper and bra. A few quick jerks and Aaliyah has a mouth full of jizz. It drips onto her tits and plops on the floor. Hearing the boss returning the two quickly dress. Elle wants to know what they have been up to.
Aaliyah and Dougie turn up on a houseboat to find Lee Henshaw lying on the floor wanking. Aaliyah offers him a hand. She soon has his cock in her mouth while Dougie takes off her black top. Obeying the audible voice of the director she mounts Lee and sucks on Dougie's dick. From this point on Aaliyah loses eye contact with the guys and the camera is constantly glancing off set (for direction?). Lying between the boys, Dougie does Aaliyah spoons. She bends to swallow Lee. A little riding follows, then a hand from the director and more words and Aaliyah takes some DP action. As the boys hammer away, Lolly arrives. Pulling up her cream skirt she fingers herself as she watches and then joins in to suck at Aaliyah's tits. With Lolly holding her head, the boys spunk over Aaliyah's face.
In a short scene, Dougie meets Tiffany under one of London's bridges. The pair snog as he rips open her tights. The two head for a secluded spot where she gives him a blow job before leaning against the wall for a good fucking from behind. Dougie pulls out to cover Tiffany's bum with cream.
Arriving back from a jog, Aaliyah finds that Lolly has smoked her last cigarette. To punish her she is bent over her knee and her bum is spanked through her riding jodhpurs. Pulling down her pants, Aaliyah is ready to slap Lolly's arse with a brush when the editor's scissors cut. The pair are next seen stripped on the bed kissing and finger fucking. Another cut (and bad continuity) and Lolly has her top on again. Stripping again, this time Lolly takes four fingers up her arse ... This scene seems to have been hacked about. The girls lie with a couple of toys on the bed which they have obviously used, but we never get to see them do it.
Tiffany arrives outside Alexis's house and takes a piss on the door step. She can't wait to tell her about Dougie. In another scene where the girls do a lot of off set glances, the pair sit on the sofa for a bit of finger fucking. Alexis strips to let Tiffany play with her big boobs. When she pulls Tiffany's knickers down, both her buttocks are black with bruising. Some less than convincing girl on girl action follows, ending in the pair sharing a double-ended dong as Dougie walks in. The girls take him into the dining room and lie him on the table to suck his dick. Alexis runs her fanny over his face while Tiffany rides his shaft. The girls swap, Tiffany pulling at her pussy as Alexis slides up and down. Bending over, Tiffany opens her arse and Dougie slips in his cock, pulling out to cum on Alexis's tits.
Aaliyah and Elle Brook are seen outside a pub. Next minute the pair are in a wood-panelled room kissing and trying to remove each other's jeans. Pulling down Elle's pink panties, Aaliyah runs her fingers through her hairy bush. With her own white knickers removed the two finger each other. The girls sink to the floor to lap at each other's cunts. It's then off to the bathroom for some soapy fun in the shower. Dried and back in the bedroom the caressing continues. The two 69 with Elle taking a toy in her arse. Then they fall asleep. Lee and Dougie decide to wake the girls by kissing their clits; Lee works his fingers into Aaliyah while Dougie works on Elle. Pants down, the boys get their dicks licked. Aaliyah climbs aboard Lee to ride him reverse, Elle follows and the girls bounce in harmony. Swapping guys, Aaliyah is taken spoons. Bad editing and Dougie does Elle doggie. Both girls then take man meat up their arses. Aaliyah ends by stuffing herself with both guys. Lee fires his load over Aaliyah's tits, Dougie on Elle's pubes. She starts to rub it in when the film suddenly stops and 6 minutes of trailers appear!!!
This is a hotch-potch of a film with scenes stuck together using stock shots of Chelsea or Aaliyah walking down streets with no explanation. The action is patchy, the newer girls at times appear lost, their stare as they look for direction giving the impression no one was quite sure what was going on. Elle and Lolly fans will also be disappointed as their performances are brief and badly edited. A poor production from Film Erotica.
Review by Dawn "Hot Totty" Birtle
Bayleaf's view (August 2006):
Porn newcomer Aaliyah stars in this stylishly shot but seriously flawed feature from director Neville Keighly. When the vast majority of Britporn releases are pure gonzo, single scenes or 'auditions' it's good to find a new(ish) production company with big ambition wanting to tell a story. But against the high standards Film Erotica have set with their previous releases, this offering is a step backwards.
Shot in widescreen format this is technically a good film, with neat camerawork, clearly lit and crisp sound. And no-one can argue with the talent as Neville mixes the experience of Alexis, Elle and Lolly with newcomers Aaliyah and Tiffany, giving them the rockhard cocks of Dougie Loads and Lee Henshaw to play with. The problem is that no-one, including the director, seems to know what's going on. Did someone leave the shooting script on a bus? There are some nice exteriors of Aaliyah jogging along the embankment or Dougie and Tiffany meeting by the Thames, but vital linking shots, such as opening a familiar door, or a line of explanatory dialogue that makes sense, means the action jumps around spoiling the story. And if you're trying to tell a nice, credible story why do we still get unbelievable scenarios? "Hi, we've not met, suck my dick", or "Sorry I'm naked but the girlfriend's just popped out, please sit on my cock" and "I'm busy fucking my girlfriend with this dildo but, hey, you can fuck us both right now".
Aaliyah is a real treat, fucking with enthusiasm, but the director hasn't explained to her before shooting not to keep looking at the camera, although audible direction during the takes is no better. The film has suffered at the hands of the BBFC, especially in Aaliyah and Lolly's scene where the editor doesn't seem to have had enough rushes to construct a decent scene acceptable to the censors. In fact, a shortage of footage seems to be the film's main problem despite a running time of over well over two hours. Film production is an expensive business, so it is understandable that producers don't want to hang about, but Chelsea Girl has the feel of a rushed production.
Many UK producers would be very satisfied if their name was on this film. Fans of the performers will find plenty to enjoy as this film fulfils the basics very well: attractive women getting their pussies stuffed with cock, dildo or fingers. But for those of us who seek a Britporn business with more ambition and believe that Film Erotica can produce films that are a real cut above, this film disappoints.